Needless to say, you all know I’ve always been quite the free spirit.
Ever since I was in high school I thought I wanted to go out into the world, literally “set it on FIRE,” no one holding me down, running to different places, seeing and soaking up as much as I can for the “REST OF MY LIFE,” God forbid letting a dull moment happen.
So, it’s safe to say that now I know life isn’t supposed to be one big, stimulating moment. Now, I have a new philosophy. I think there’s more magic in the ordinary. It’s okay if we’re not first or the center of attention. It’s okay if we just ARE.
Not to be too somber, but LIFE IS HARD. It’s supposed to be up’s and down’s so we can appreciate the goodness. The truth is demanding to handle but I miss the truth, “the ordinary” everyday life.
I feel like in Peru, I’ve escaped my “truth” and “the ordinary”, aka the responsibilities I need to take on to be a functioning adult. I traded my truth for a chance at “enlightenment” and enjoying my twenties. Well, my “it’s time to grow up” clock is ticking more loudly than ever. Enlightenment is simple actually. It’s just being aware of yourself, why you’re feeling certain ways and being good to your mind, body and soul. I can do this at home while being productive again for my future. I have gotten EXACTLY what I wanted out of Peace Corps and without a doubt, am growing out of this phase in life. As I am shedding this skin, I also consider myself ready to tackle medical school, but in a new frame of mind – the frame of mind I’ve always wanted.
My ideal frame of mind is me happy just being, existing, oozing inner peace. I crave the ordinary everyday life at home, because I know now it’s more romantic and more stimulating than most think. Every day here in my small site, Oidor, Tumbes, Peru, is ALSO ordinary, but it doesn’t FEEL that way. It’s my perspective towards appreciating the slow days and the routine that makes me “feel alive.” Life can be simple and beautiful at the SAME TIME.
I’m not calling Peru “paradise” because most people don’t exactly think of what I’m doing as fun, but, for me, it’s been a hiatus, a place of growth, experiencing everything from developing country work frustrations, to testing my patience, to rafting the Amazon 112 miles and camping in random jungle towns, to doing the 77 mile Huayhuash trail in the Andes, to dancing on the beach until the sun comes up. As a low maintenance, adventurous kind of girl that likes to challenge herself, it’s been my idea of fun and good ol’ hard work all mixed into one.
Peace Corps was the best decision I’ve ever made. I can’t wait to share what I’ve seen and learned! I just know I’ve had my fill and am ready for what adulthood and “the ordinary” has to bring. I want to go back to school and work so hard, I fall asleep at 9pm every night. I want to share work concerns with my friends. I want to wake up early and listen to NPR’s Morning Edition. Most importantly, I want to take what I’ve learned in Peace Corps and lead others. I believe in my new frame of mind as the best way to live. I want others to see the magic in the ordinary like I see it, but I also understand many won’t.
There’s also no place like home. The friends I have, thank God, DO understand my simple way of life.
The freedom of thinking youthfully is beautiful but I’ve grown up in the sense that I want to stay close to family and friends once I’m done with Peace Corps. Family is number one, period. I miss you mom, Peter, Miklos, Kateets, Misha, Petar, all the babies in our family…and I miss my dear friends that I consider family – Kellie, Claire, Sara, Sarah, Car, Sof, Ali, Ernie, Molly, Michelle, Bear, Brittany, Vinnie, Coachie, B.C., Elan. You guys are my rocks and I think of you constantly, but I know once I get back, it’s not like we’ll hang out everyday too. We’re all on different roads that happen to mingle every once in a while, and those days are what life is all about! I look forward to crossing paths more often than we have these past couple years. I am also so happy I still feel strong bonds with ALL of you. I really picked some winners to surround myself with. No matter what the distance, we will love each other!
I’m glad I’ve had this journey to let go of my inhibitions, have some wild nights, go to breath-taking places, but it’s time.
Home and stability sounds like a dream. I’ve started preparing myself mentally for the day I go home, although I know I’ll be going through some serious culture shock as far as fast-paced America goes.
Anticipating:
1) Immediate death without ceviche in my life...just kidding, but I think it's plausible.
2) Probably will still want to bathe in cold water, or end up turning off the water if I’m just lathering up!
3) Still walk slowly, because there’s no rush in my mind anymore for ANYTHING.
4) Won't shut up about Peru and "that one time I did X cool amount of things" or maybe I'll be extra quiet for a while there...overwhelmed, not sure how to act, or how to share my perspective that may seem a lot different than most people's.
5) I'll FOR SURE get frustrated and want to punch people that complain about "first world problems."
6) Missing the culture that at one point drove me up the wall crazy.
7) Speaking Spanglish fluently, relating more to my Hispanic or fellow PCV friends, forgetting English words for the first few months.
8) Most importantly, I'll miss the place I called home and immersed myself so intensely.
9) Will need time to mourn the loss of this precious time period where my being became so full, so bursting of life.
Bottom line, I’m happy to say that when I go home, I plan on dedicating myself to school and the people I love, and I truly can’t wait for this phase to begin!
Yay, yet another phase! Who knows what I'll learn next and end up carrying with me this time?!
Ever since I was in high school I thought I wanted to go out into the world, literally “set it on FIRE,” no one holding me down, running to different places, seeing and soaking up as much as I can for the “REST OF MY LIFE,” God forbid letting a dull moment happen.
So, it’s safe to say that now I know life isn’t supposed to be one big, stimulating moment. Now, I have a new philosophy. I think there’s more magic in the ordinary. It’s okay if we’re not first or the center of attention. It’s okay if we just ARE.
Not to be too somber, but LIFE IS HARD. It’s supposed to be up’s and down’s so we can appreciate the goodness. The truth is demanding to handle but I miss the truth, “the ordinary” everyday life.
I feel like in Peru, I’ve escaped my “truth” and “the ordinary”, aka the responsibilities I need to take on to be a functioning adult. I traded my truth for a chance at “enlightenment” and enjoying my twenties. Well, my “it’s time to grow up” clock is ticking more loudly than ever. Enlightenment is simple actually. It’s just being aware of yourself, why you’re feeling certain ways and being good to your mind, body and soul. I can do this at home while being productive again for my future. I have gotten EXACTLY what I wanted out of Peace Corps and without a doubt, am growing out of this phase in life. As I am shedding this skin, I also consider myself ready to tackle medical school, but in a new frame of mind – the frame of mind I’ve always wanted.
My ideal frame of mind is me happy just being, existing, oozing inner peace. I crave the ordinary everyday life at home, because I know now it’s more romantic and more stimulating than most think. Every day here in my small site, Oidor, Tumbes, Peru, is ALSO ordinary, but it doesn’t FEEL that way. It’s my perspective towards appreciating the slow days and the routine that makes me “feel alive.” Life can be simple and beautiful at the SAME TIME.
I’m not calling Peru “paradise” because most people don’t exactly think of what I’m doing as fun, but, for me, it’s been a hiatus, a place of growth, experiencing everything from developing country work frustrations, to testing my patience, to rafting the Amazon 112 miles and camping in random jungle towns, to doing the 77 mile Huayhuash trail in the Andes, to dancing on the beach until the sun comes up. As a low maintenance, adventurous kind of girl that likes to challenge herself, it’s been my idea of fun and good ol’ hard work all mixed into one.
Peace Corps was the best decision I’ve ever made. I can’t wait to share what I’ve seen and learned! I just know I’ve had my fill and am ready for what adulthood and “the ordinary” has to bring. I want to go back to school and work so hard, I fall asleep at 9pm every night. I want to share work concerns with my friends. I want to wake up early and listen to NPR’s Morning Edition. Most importantly, I want to take what I’ve learned in Peace Corps and lead others. I believe in my new frame of mind as the best way to live. I want others to see the magic in the ordinary like I see it, but I also understand many won’t.
There’s also no place like home. The friends I have, thank God, DO understand my simple way of life.
The freedom of thinking youthfully is beautiful but I’ve grown up in the sense that I want to stay close to family and friends once I’m done with Peace Corps. Family is number one, period. I miss you mom, Peter, Miklos, Kateets, Misha, Petar, all the babies in our family…and I miss my dear friends that I consider family – Kellie, Claire, Sara, Sarah, Car, Sof, Ali, Ernie, Molly, Michelle, Bear, Brittany, Vinnie, Coachie, B.C., Elan. You guys are my rocks and I think of you constantly, but I know once I get back, it’s not like we’ll hang out everyday too. We’re all on different roads that happen to mingle every once in a while, and those days are what life is all about! I look forward to crossing paths more often than we have these past couple years. I am also so happy I still feel strong bonds with ALL of you. I really picked some winners to surround myself with. No matter what the distance, we will love each other!
I’m glad I’ve had this journey to let go of my inhibitions, have some wild nights, go to breath-taking places, but it’s time.
Home and stability sounds like a dream. I’ve started preparing myself mentally for the day I go home, although I know I’ll be going through some serious culture shock as far as fast-paced America goes.
Anticipating:
1) Immediate death without ceviche in my life...just kidding, but I think it's plausible.
2) Probably will still want to bathe in cold water, or end up turning off the water if I’m just lathering up!
3) Still walk slowly, because there’s no rush in my mind anymore for ANYTHING.
4) Won't shut up about Peru and "that one time I did X cool amount of things" or maybe I'll be extra quiet for a while there...overwhelmed, not sure how to act, or how to share my perspective that may seem a lot different than most people's.
5) I'll FOR SURE get frustrated and want to punch people that complain about "first world problems."
6) Missing the culture that at one point drove me up the wall crazy.
7) Speaking Spanglish fluently, relating more to my Hispanic or fellow PCV friends, forgetting English words for the first few months.
8) Most importantly, I'll miss the place I called home and immersed myself so intensely.
9) Will need time to mourn the loss of this precious time period where my being became so full, so bursting of life.
Bottom line, I’m happy to say that when I go home, I plan on dedicating myself to school and the people I love, and I truly can’t wait for this phase to begin!
Yay, yet another phase! Who knows what I'll learn next and end up carrying with me this time?!
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| Sunset from my site |
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