It's dancing the night away to loud reggaeton with my eyes closed and hands in the air on warm Peruvian beaches in white shorts, flip flops, sun-kissed skin and sandy hair. Unfortunately it's getting too tipsy at happy hour to care to shower. It's thanking God for perfume!
It's trying to catch a wave here and there, mostly making Peruvian friends that rise and go down with the dedicated sun.
It's meeting the nicest, most fascinating travelers from all over the world. They're like you in so many free-spirited, spontaneous, carefree ways.
Sometimes it turns into sweet kisses under the moonlight, waves crashing at your feet after long talks of getting to know your weekend lover from countries like Argentina, Uruguay, Chile, or maybe you snag one of those Brazilian surfer boys trying to find the perfect wave in Peru.
It's thinking you drink too much with your friends and then trying to work your ass off to convince yourself you deserve the enchanted life you're living.
It's being sick in bed for days sometimes without eating or speaking, just waiting for the diarrhea, fever or stomach pain to pass.
It's loneliness. Intense loneliness.
It's self-reliance.
It's staring poverty and real problems right in the face and sometimes not knowing what do and sometimes surprising myself.
It's understanding humanity and that we are all so much more alike than we like to believe.
It's instilling values in me that I'll need for the rest of my life.
It's long bike rides with no destination in particular, wheels and legs full of mud from recent rains, platano and mango trees grazing my arm every now and then on the bumpy dirt road.
It's learning how to be a good sister and daughter when I'm far away and not living under the same roof anymore. Showing my love needs so much more effort now.
It's not knowing what will happen in the next hour. It's so unbelievably capricious that it's pointless to plan ahead. It's a lot of learning to let go of what I cannot control.
It's having doubts about the future. By when do I need to "figure it all out" exactly? It's frightened of "getting serious/settling down" even though you know the day will come. You can't dodge getting a job and responsibilities. It's understanding that kind of lifestyle is good for me too.
It's not wanting to ever go back to the states because it doesn't want order. It's STUBBORN. Wants to do things it's own way.
It's waking up at 6am, stashing swim suits, oranges and a towel in a bag, blasting "Could You Be Loved" by Marley practically salivating over the mirage you're envisioning of the surf an hour away from your casita in the middle of nowhere.
It's LOTS of sitting on the side of the road in the hot sun with my eyes crinkled, hand on my forehead, head down waiting for a ride. In the back with the goats and cows is no exception. Get me there.
It's wild and passionate. A passion I never want to lose but know I will eventually grow out of. Even right now I am molding a DIFFERENT kind of passion - the passion for family and a career.
It's the bittersweet symphony, the pursuit of happiness and there ain't no mountain high enough to climb it.
It's working and trying to be a better person. It's CONSTANT LEARNING. Question after once in a lifetime opportunities after cluelessness.
It's like being on a sheet of ice before the summer months and at any moment you could fall. Some cracks are deeper than others so watch out. It's always watching out, but it's pushing the "limits." It's irresponsible and you wouldn't change it for the WORLD.
It's priceless.
It's what I'll be talking about to my grandkids one day when they question my "coolness."
It's everything I want right now but nothing I'm proud of yet. So many mistakes.
It's formation of self. It seems never-ending but that day will come, and we'll wish it never did.
It won't go away for long though. The stories are forever.
It will become your shadow, you'll think you have to hide it but it will always follow you and you'll be happy about that because deep down, you know you're still the carefree, impatient, dancing machine no matter how "serious" you've gotten. Our inner young adult stays with us forever. You're actually dying to bring it out and can't wait to do the things you used to, when you had no care in the world. You just bring him/her out in "appropriate circumstances" now.
It's INappropriate.
It's true happiness because you will never get these years back so you know this is YOUR TIME to live it up, make your mistakes, get it together, but not TOO soon, and then you're on your way again. It's a different track but it's from the same origin. You were on this path but at the fork in the road, you just turned left. Some never turn at the fork and that's okay too.
It's amazingly different each year. 21 was different than 23 and 24 and I'm sure 27 won't even know who 23 was one day. Imagine that!
It's so many things I can't even describe. Hot, innocent, painful, a renaissance.
It is a timeless journey once walked, but forever within.
It's trying to catch a wave here and there, mostly making Peruvian friends that rise and go down with the dedicated sun.
It's meeting the nicest, most fascinating travelers from all over the world. They're like you in so many free-spirited, spontaneous, carefree ways.
Sometimes it turns into sweet kisses under the moonlight, waves crashing at your feet after long talks of getting to know your weekend lover from countries like Argentina, Uruguay, Chile, or maybe you snag one of those Brazilian surfer boys trying to find the perfect wave in Peru.
It's thinking you drink too much with your friends and then trying to work your ass off to convince yourself you deserve the enchanted life you're living.
It's being sick in bed for days sometimes without eating or speaking, just waiting for the diarrhea, fever or stomach pain to pass.
It's loneliness. Intense loneliness.
It's self-reliance.
It's staring poverty and real problems right in the face and sometimes not knowing what do and sometimes surprising myself.
It's understanding humanity and that we are all so much more alike than we like to believe.
It's instilling values in me that I'll need for the rest of my life.
It's long bike rides with no destination in particular, wheels and legs full of mud from recent rains, platano and mango trees grazing my arm every now and then on the bumpy dirt road.
It's learning how to be a good sister and daughter when I'm far away and not living under the same roof anymore. Showing my love needs so much more effort now.
It's not knowing what will happen in the next hour. It's so unbelievably capricious that it's pointless to plan ahead. It's a lot of learning to let go of what I cannot control.
It's having doubts about the future. By when do I need to "figure it all out" exactly? It's frightened of "getting serious/settling down" even though you know the day will come. You can't dodge getting a job and responsibilities. It's understanding that kind of lifestyle is good for me too.
It's not wanting to ever go back to the states because it doesn't want order. It's STUBBORN. Wants to do things it's own way.
It's waking up at 6am, stashing swim suits, oranges and a towel in a bag, blasting "Could You Be Loved" by Marley practically salivating over the mirage you're envisioning of the surf an hour away from your casita in the middle of nowhere.
It's LOTS of sitting on the side of the road in the hot sun with my eyes crinkled, hand on my forehead, head down waiting for a ride. In the back with the goats and cows is no exception. Get me there.
It's wild and passionate. A passion I never want to lose but know I will eventually grow out of. Even right now I am molding a DIFFERENT kind of passion - the passion for family and a career.
It's the bittersweet symphony, the pursuit of happiness and there ain't no mountain high enough to climb it.
It's working and trying to be a better person. It's CONSTANT LEARNING. Question after once in a lifetime opportunities after cluelessness.
It's like being on a sheet of ice before the summer months and at any moment you could fall. Some cracks are deeper than others so watch out. It's always watching out, but it's pushing the "limits." It's irresponsible and you wouldn't change it for the WORLD.
It's priceless.
It's what I'll be talking about to my grandkids one day when they question my "coolness."
It's everything I want right now but nothing I'm proud of yet. So many mistakes.
It's formation of self. It seems never-ending but that day will come, and we'll wish it never did.
It won't go away for long though. The stories are forever.
It will become your shadow, you'll think you have to hide it but it will always follow you and you'll be happy about that because deep down, you know you're still the carefree, impatient, dancing machine no matter how "serious" you've gotten. Our inner young adult stays with us forever. You're actually dying to bring it out and can't wait to do the things you used to, when you had no care in the world. You just bring him/her out in "appropriate circumstances" now.
It's INappropriate.
It's true happiness because you will never get these years back so you know this is YOUR TIME to live it up, make your mistakes, get it together, but not TOO soon, and then you're on your way again. It's a different track but it's from the same origin. You were on this path but at the fork in the road, you just turned left. Some never turn at the fork and that's okay too.
It's amazingly different each year. 21 was different than 23 and 24 and I'm sure 27 won't even know who 23 was one day. Imagine that!
It's so many things I can't even describe. Hot, innocent, painful, a renaissance.
It is a timeless journey once walked, but forever within.
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