Mom, you're my "one."

Everyone needs that one person that loves them with unconditional love, that’s always there, even if we don’t appreciate them as much or realize it half the time that person’s around and loves us deeply. We all have people around us like this. Take a second and reflect – maybe it’s your parents too, or a spouse, a boyfriend. We all get too comfortable and stop doing special things for one another, but we sure as hell don’t stop caring as much. When do we cross the line into this? It’s always the ones that are ALWAYS there for us that we take advantage of. It hit me like sack of bricks my mom is my “one person.” She has sacrificed so much for my brother and I to get where we are today and I’m sure we don’t say “I love you” as much as we should, or maybe when we do, it’s not like we say it with meaning anymore – it’s just what’s expected – “love you, bye mom!” We can all relate. 

I came to this conclusion when my mom came to visit my site in Peru. What parent in their right mind comes thousands of miles away to see their child in a third world country, unaware of what she’s getting herself into and stays in a house made of sticks for 5 days, just to be with them and make sure they’re okay? My mom. She respects my work so much, she wanted to not just see it, but LIVE it with me. I know now where I get my passion for service. My mom got along with all the kids and families in my community effortlessly. She’s got this magic charisma with children.

One morning I showered and left my mom sitting on the patio. When I came out of the shower and walked to my room, I heard my mom’s partly scream, partly roar for laughter and a bunch of kids yelling for her to tell more. She was outside teaching the kids funny English words – “pickle” and “bubble” among others.

The kids in my English class loved her too. My mom assisted me in teaching too! Look at what Yasmany doodled on his desk, ha!

My host mom enjoyed my mom’s company the most – they got along better than I do with my host mom. I don’t know if it was my host mom super nervous and talking about whatever she could, but she’s usually really quite around me, but no – my mom brought it out of her. I feel like my host mom got to know me better being around my mom.

I paraded my mom around town, introducing her to different families and everyone opened their arms to her and invited her to sit down with them.

I even took my mom to the chacra so she could see my REAL everyday life – mango picking with the kids.

She came to a health class the nurse and I were putting on for the high school too. She was always pooped by the end of her days with me. We would say our goodnight’s to my family and retreat to our room around 8pm, brush our teeth, wash our faces, and crawl into bed and you better believe that even though I’m 22 years old, I’m still all about cuddling with my momma!

My mom and I also had a conversation that meant a lot to me. She opened up to me about things she used to tell me, “I’ll tell you when you get older.” With my brother and I out of the house, she didn’t feel like she had a specific “meaning” for life anymore. Obviously this makes sense and is normal for any parent to feel. I actually anticipated she’d feel this emptiness before I left and totally threw the idea out to her that she should get another dog. We used to have one, Lovvy, and we loved Lovvy so much. My mom needed someone to give her love to and I genuinely thought a dog would help. My mom has so much love to give, it’s incredible. She’s always doing something kind for another person. She’s the most giving person in the world. I felt so bad she was feeling this way and as a 22 year old girl (I still think I have a lot of maturing to do), it was difficult for me to find the right words for the first time my mom was essentially in need of my advice. I happened to be reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Victor Frankl (found it in some hostel! Good find, right?! I annotated it and everythinggg!) I started reading little bits and pieces to her that I liked the most and she took such a liking to the book that I ended up passing it on to her – told her how much it was helping me here in Peru when there are some days I pass by doing nothing. Believe it or not, life can get boring in the campo when you’re from the big city! She called me when she finally got home to the states and said she read it on the flight home but has to read it again because she loved it so much, especially with all my crazy annotations and thoughts penciled in. Dr. Victor Frankl reminds us to do three things to find the meaning of life – 1) fall in love, 2) do service work for others, and 3) surround yourself with art, literature and nature. My mom put things into perspective and decided she’s going to paint more. My mom can paint guys. She’s so talented. I love watching her paint too – seeing someone’s imagination physically come into life through every brush stroke is so fascinating to me. You can never anticipate the next move. It’s purely the mind’s vision. Painting makes for a tangible imagination. I encourage her every time I’m on the phone to go paint – get herself to the botanical gardens in Pasadena, the Getty museum or the beach. I also sent her photos from her trip here to give her more inspiration. I want my mom to be healthy and happy and I am doing whatever it takes. I love her so much. She deserves the world.

One day I know I’ll have to take care of her, her being Ecuadorian and that’s just the Latin culture, but I can’t wait for the day she lives with me and hopefully helps take care of my kids because I’ll be a doctor/mother/wife and I don’t know how I’ll ever do it…thank God I have my “one person,” right? I think this person changes at different phases of our lives, but my mom’s been this person for me, without a doubt, for the last 22 years, and I’ll be forever grateful for her. She raised me right and I now understand why she was so strict with me (you always gotta be careful with the free spirited teenagers), raised me in church with good morals and values, and always motivated me do my very best in school and whatever else I dedicated my time to. She wanted the best for me all along. It’s a beautiful thing someone cared for me this much. I can never “thank her enough” but aren’t those the kinds of things we live to do in life? Do such loving acts that someone can never pay you back? I can only walk forth honoring her by applying the lessons she’s taught me into everyday life, and I find I’m doing a good job at that if I’m in the Peace Corps – the ultimate sacrifice to give of yourself.

This is us in Ecuador. My mom took me for a little escape to see family in Guayaquil and then we drove to the coast to Montañita for some R&R and it was just what we needed after a long week of processing my new job and our improved mother-daughter relationship.